and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
