Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
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