i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
