Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
there is glitter all over my balls
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
