are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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