new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
