if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
