Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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