Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize