i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
