I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
