ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This is my gift to your gina
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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