Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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