ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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