there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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