last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize