coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
