so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize