those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
