You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
