I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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