On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
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