I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
