At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
