They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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