I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
