He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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