Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
