Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize