Whod you bang
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
