I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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