garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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