My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize