I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
