he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
