whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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