She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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