i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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