I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
