Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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