on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
