I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize