Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
