Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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