He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
