I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
