How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
