I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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