i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
