Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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