My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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