please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
