honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
