Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
we should paint friendship bongs
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