He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
