hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
