I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
