So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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