she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
