just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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