drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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