go do what you do best...puke behind churches
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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