at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
