I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
