Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
