Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
