no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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