his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
